by Sue,
This book was recommended
by people in my writing group, a few of whom have parents with dementia.
The central character, Maud, a lady in her eighties, suffers from that
disease. The novel won, and was shortlisted for, a number of awards.
Nevertheless, however good the writing, the subject matter may be a
little close to the bone. I believe, though, that there are two
narratives here: one in which the central character is in her eighties;
and another in which she’s a young woman. So, perhaps the movement
between time zones might relieve the potential distress of what must be a
central concern - Maud’s dementia. I’m hoping we see Maud as a person
rather than just a patient, and that the book has something positive to
contribute to the discussion of a disease that is having such an impact
on society. And our own lives. I hope I haven’t made an insensitive
choice.
Hello Ladies
ReplyDeleteOur recent e-mail exchanges have motivated me to write the review now. Hope all continues well in your lives. It’s a grey Sunday here, so good to have something to do before visiting my parents.
I approached “Elizabeth Is Missing” with some trepidation, fearing that I’d see my Mum in Maud so clearly that I’d be unable to read it. And in the early pages that was true: the carers, the approach to shopping, inability to make decisions. But no two dementia sufferers are going to be absolutely the same and Maud is not my Mum – who would no more leave the house on her own than fly in the air. And, of course, her memories are entirely different. Well, to be fair, my Mum’s memories are pretty much lost.
The interweaving of past and present, Maud’s deteriorating grasp of the “here and now”, the clever development of the murder plot – I thought all this was very convincing. Society’s response to Maud was clearly delineated: the sympathetic, and the unkindly impatient. Maud certainly provided a yardstick by which to assess other characters. Not all black and white, though: the policeman who was so unpleasant to Maud when she repeatedly reported Elizabeth missing was not such a bad man after all – just not very bright. The GP’s behaviour, however, was unforgiveable. And, mercifully, not something I’ve ever experienced.
The characterisation of the mad woman, Douglas’s Mum, reminded me of characters in my own school and community as I grew up – frightening people, who, in retrospect, could have been very badly affected by the war. She was, perhaps, a stereotype, but “the mad woman” was making a point about civilian suffering that has, I think, been insufficiently addressed. Included here, she and her son contribute to making a wider point about mental illness: it’s not uncommon.
I could sympathise so much with Helen: the exchange between her and her mother in Chapter 14 as Maud is about to move into Helen’s house, a move Maud has completely forgotten about, rang so true. And I loved the portrayal of Katy, the coffee shop scene a joy. The characterisation of Frank and Douglas was both convincing and successful in keeping the reader’s interest alive. Either of them could have murdered Sukey. And the relationship between Sukey and Maud was beautifully drawn. As, indeed, was the relationship between Maud and Elizabeth. Crucially, Maud is a rounded person - being a patient is just one of her roles.
The depiction of post WW2 U.K. is marvellous in its detail, for example the Gerrard’s kitchen. And, of course, it was in just such a time that a missing person was entirely likely to remain missing.
As we can tell, I surprised myself by enjoying it very much. I hope you did, too, ladies.
Hello Sue and Nancy! Hope you are both well. Spring is finally here! The kids and I are finally getting to go outside. Benjamin has been "helping" me in the garden, and Lillian is growing like a little weed! Has spring come to the UK, Sue? Nancy, are you still getting to use the pool or
ReplyDeleteare you getting ready to close it?
Sue, I was very engrossed in your choice of novel. I do not know anyone personally with dementia but have worked with a few patients who've suffered from the disease. I am sure that really doesn't compare to anything you have to do Sue for your mum. I held a lot of sympathy for Helen.
I say this because diseases are not just hard on the patient. They are hard on the ill person's caregiver too. On one hand there is the desire to care for a family member but on the other it can be very difficult and overwhelming. Caregiver burn out is all too real. I hope you take time
for yourself and your own health, Sue. It is easy enough to get caught up in the care of another person that you forget about yourself. (This is true for parenting too)
I did really love Maud. I felt like Katy, finding humor in some of her antics. I also felt a great deal of sympathy for Maud when situations would confuse and scare her. Occassionally I got a little lost in her back and forth narrative, particually when Maud was still coming out of a memory into the present. It was very clever the way Ms. Healey wove the loss of Sukey and the loss of Elizabeth together. Maud was searching for both women and managed to find them. It is a shame that, as we see at the end of the novel, Maud will not remember that she found both women.
I think the reaction of people to Maud was very real. As I've said, I have worked with some dementia patients and I've seen a wide variety of reactions from my coworkers, their caretakers, and even the other patients. As you said Sue, some are sympathetic while others are extremely impatient. I think Ms. Healey was very on point with those interactions.
Excellent choice in novel, Sue!
-Katie
Hello Ladies,
ReplyDeleteLovely to read your positive comments on a story I was hesitant to read yet to my surprise found I absolutely loved. I’ve been madly recommending it to friends. I actually found it very therapeutic . So, thank you Sue I would never been brave enough to tackle it without your suggestion.
Of course I loved Maud, I could draw so many similarities with her and my own parents behaviour, but as you say Sue, she was not them and once Maud established herself in my psyche as a different person I enjoyed her so much.
I sympathised with Helen ,and found often I was smiling and remembering similar situations and times with my own parents. Now I’m not in the middle of the storm I can look back with fondness and humour and some of the antics and frustrations I experienced being a carer, even the clueless brother, which I related to wholeheartedly!
I thought Emma Healy wrote a very insightful and mature story. She seems very well researched and I notice gives credit to her grandparents in the beginning of the book.
Although how can we ever really know what’s going on in the minds of dementia patients?
I often watched my parents and wondered this.
I loved the way the past and present intertwined and what can sometimes be passed off as confusion in dementia patients can sometimes be otherwise and whether we pass this off because of impatience and fear or whether we are just so worn down with the day to day care that sometimes we miss stuff.
I also thought the inclusion in the story of the mad woman from the post war time and the lack of understanding towards mental illness back then paralleled with Maud’s dementia behaviours in the present day and how much we’ve learned and how far we still need to go in addressing mental illness in our communities and providing care for these people.
Thank you again Sue for this choice, this story holds a special place in my heart with all the memories it stirred and the sympathetic and loving way in which it was written.
I hope all is well with you both, The weather here is slightly cooler, Ivars is still swimming, not me though! We are leaving for a couple of weeks tramping around the North Island of New Zealand tomorrow so it will be chillier over there. All is well here both kids graduate in a couple of months so there is much anticipation {read stress } over what comes next. All will be well I’m sure.
much love,
Nancy