by katie,
I found this book recommended on a large list of books from the Huffington Post. It was a list of recent books they felt “every woman” should read. I thought Ms. Ng’s novel sounded sad but interesting; like a crime drama with a little more sustenance.
The novel promises to be “A profoundly moving story of family, history,
and the meaning of home, Everything I Never Told You is both a gripping
page-turner and a sensitive family portrait, exploring the divisions
between cultures and the rifts within a family,
and uncovering the ways in which mothers and daughters, fathers and
sons, and husbands and wives struggle, all their lives, to understand
one another.” –from celesteng.comAs we read, maybe we would like to try and decide what the Huffington Post thinks we, women, “gain” from this novel. Why is it something that we should read? Would men not gain the same insights from this tale? Are we expected to appreciate this more because of our gender?
I fear we might be in for a bit of a depressing novel. But I hope the insights we gain will make it a novel worth reading.
My best to you and your families.
Hello Ladies,
ReplyDeleteHope you both are doing well. Things at the Chong house are going well. Benjamin and Lillian are growing in leaps and bounds.
I’m not sure what the Huffington Post thought I would gain from this novel as a woman but I feel I gained a great deal as a member of a Chinese-American family. I gained an even greater appreciation for the time period in which I live, where mixed families are not only accepted but fairly common. I gained a reminder about the importance of communication in any relationship. I gained a greater respect for children of mixed heritage and a greater love for my own little ones. Did either of you “gain” from this novel?
As the excerpt from Ms. Ng’s website said, there was truly a struggle for the members of this family to understand one another. It is extremely sad that this intense struggle cost them the life of one of their own but I view Lydia’s death as a catalyst for successful communication between the remaining members of the Lee family. Without first falling apart, Marilyn and James could not reestablish the connection they had before Marilyn ran away. It was also a necessary event for Hannah to become a more recognized member of the Lee family.
I enjoyed the fact that we learn Lydia’s death was not suicide but rather an attempt to change her future. I also enjoyed that our novel ended with a glimmer of hope for the Lee family. Hannah appears to be gaining new status in the house hold. We see a hint that one day Nath will fulfill his space dreams. There also seems to be hope for James and Marilyn as a couple as they heal from their loss. I feel that several novels I’ve read lately have had an unsatisfactory ending.
Overall, I enjoyed this novel despite its sorrowful central plot. How did you ladies view this? I hope I didn’t bring either of you down too much with my book choice.
Looking forward to hearing from you both!
Katie
Hello Ladies,
ReplyDeleteI am at present curled up in my comfy chair while we experience a midday thunderstorm, I’m avoiding Ivars who is moodily prowling around the house after being driven indoors by the rain. I can’t help but feel thankful for such a wonderfully simple
and joyous life.
Katie, love and congratulations again to you, Franklin and Benjamin with the safe arrival of Lillian. She looks like an angel. How is it all going?
I imagine this novel pulled at your heart quite a few times. I know it did with me, really making me reflect on my own children and how much we as parents, by unconsciously pushing our own agenda can manipulate and control their lives if we aren’t very careful.
I enjoyed this story, but like you Katie, didn’t think it was specifically aimed at women and believe it would be both enjoyable and thought provoking for men and women of all ages.
I feel Celeste Ng wrote a gender balanced [is that a thing?] novel of the struggles that people can face in their lives and that overcoming them is possible. It seems so much of the characters beliefs about what others thought, whether it was prejudices against race or gender or and their own self image was mixed up in miscommunication.
I also thought her account of the trauma and grieving experienced by Lydia’s family at her death was handled quite authentically. It seems a universal human reaction when we receive tragic news to reflect on those moments beforehand, before the phone call that changes lives.
I’m glad the novel had a positive ending as given the subject matter this was not a given. As you say Katie, it was a relief to know Lydia was moving towards a happier life and although her death was such a tragedy for the family it didn’t destroy them, yet helped them to heal in other ways.
Sue, I hope all is well with you and I’m sure you’re looking forward to Jay’s return.
I’ve read a little of Elizabeth is Missing, let’s see if we are up for the challenge !
love to all,
Nancy
Hello Ladies
ReplyDeleteHope you both enjoyed the Easter weekend. Our parcel of shingly beach attracts families from Hull who have visited in considerable numbers while the schools are on holiday. Good for the local economy, but terrible if you are trying to negotiate our narrow streets and roundabouts. But the weather has been kind most days – our friend building our garden bench is working in sunshine today; and yesterday I sat on a sunny bench in the museum’s garden cleaning accession numbers from items of pottery we intend to sell – lovely smell of mown grass.
The good citizens of Hull are being asked to pose naked for a massive group photograph to celebrate our UK City of Culture status. The council has sent me a personal invitation. What do you think ladies?
So good to know all is well with both of you and your families – particularly that Benjamin and Lillian are doing so well. Katie – this must be a wonderful time for you and Franklin, though requiring lots of energy. I wish you lots of strength and send lots of love.
Thought of you last night when I read the novel in one sitting. Yesterday, the library presented me with a large print version: perhaps the print size made it easier reading. I was very sad when I went to bed, but agree with you both regarding the ending. One felt something positive would come out of all that suffering. (Though I do wonder what the author learned from writing it – she refers to her own son as her “proudest accomplishment”. I worried rather about seeing a child as an accomplishment.)
Marilyn’s determination to see her daughter achieve all Marilyn had failed to achieve, and the impact on Lydia, was heartbreaking. But I did not see this central tragedy as race related. Clearly, the society was extremely racist and exacerbated other issues. Sexism and homophobia were problems too. Did you think that Jack and Nath will eventually be a couple? Looking ahead the text says: “ . . . when, one day, he looks at the small bump that will always mar the bridge of Jack’s nose and wants to trace it, gently, with his finger.” Perhaps I’m reading too much into it.
I did like the title, emphasizing the paramount importance of communication. For all the words we use, I just wonder how many really do communicate something that needs to be communicated.
In answer to your question of whether I gained anything from reading the novel, Katie - like you I felt an appreciation that times have changed. In the U.K., we’ve still got a long way to go before race, religion, social class, sex, etc. are no longer factors in measuring the worth of a person – but we’re moving forward. Few steps back sometimes (immigration and the upcoming EU referendum mean we’re taking a few backward steps now) but the overall momentum is forwards.
Jay is back next week, so I have an awful lot of house and car cleaning to look forward to. It will be a relief to have him home. Been a long three months. Lots of meaningful communicating to catch up on.
Much love to you both
ReplyDeleteHello ladies,
So pleased the library sourced our novel for you Sue, it can challenge my patience sometimes waiting for books I have felt I’ve pre ordered with sufficient time. I am sure j Jay is home by now and hope his travels went well and the weather is warm enough for him now he’s home.
I’m not sure about your calendar, but that is me and I become anxious if there is more than five people in a crowd fully clothed. I’m not sure where the culture is in a bunch of naked people but it definitely would be challenging and interesting.
On to our story, I was also curious if Jack and Nath ended up in a relationship,it seemed so. It does seem that perhaps the author, after writing such a tragic story, was making sure those left alive all had happy outcomes. What better ending than a childhood unrequited love becoming a reality.
Katie, I trust all is well in your world with your beautiful family.
love Nancy