Here are some statistics to ponder while we read:
Ten million girls under 18 marry each year.
833,333 a month
192,307 a week
27,397 a day
19 every minute
or around one girl every three seconds
Here are some questions to get us thinking:
Honour is obviously very important to the men of Nujood's family. What does the notion of honour mean in rural Yemeni culture, and how does it differ from Western ideas of honour? When Nujood, Shada and their allies go to court to seek a divorce for Nujood, what conception of honour are they defending?
Nujood mentions a tribal proverb that says "To guarantee a happy marriage, marry a nine year old girl." How does this traditional view of a "happy marriage" differ from the Western view. Are there any ways in which they might be similar?
How has the international publicity surrounding the divorce affected Nujood's family and community? Has it enlightened her relatives and neighbours? Or do you think it may have caused dissension within the family and alienated them from their own society?
All the best ladies
Hello Ladies,
ReplyDeleteI hope all is well and any moving has or is going smoothly.
Due to a series of unfortunate and unforeseen events I still have no copy of this months book.
Can you believe the only copy in our library is on loan !!!!!
I have had numerous mix ups with fishpond.com and now hopefully will receive my book next week from a local book shop, a little bit more expensive ,but I hope more reliable.
I do remember Sue saying it is a small book so I will be having a reading frenzy to catch up.
I have also found a setting on our blog where we can add authors. It requires me adding your email address to mine and then you could write posts. I thought that you may like to write the posts for the novels that are your selections.
Let me know what you think, I am quite happy to continue on as is or add you both as authors.
I hope the book comes soon, Nancy. Good luck with finding time to read.
ReplyDeleteThough this was a quick read, it was not an easy one. To address the question of honour, Nancy, it seems only men are entitled to honour, and the higher up the ladder you are in terms of money and influence (perhaps gained by terrorising others) the more honour you accrue and the easier it becomes to defend it. In Western terms, it reminds me of the Mafia, Al Capone, and the British aristocracy. I'm assuming those defending Nujood believe everyone deserves to be honoured.
The idea of marrying someone young so they can be moulded to the in-laws culture still prevails (Charles and Diana). However, the increasing number of single people or couples in partnership suggests that in the West we are beginning to move away from that concept. Still, in Britain at least, commonly you marry within your own micro-culture. Years ago, I read somewhere that most people marry someone they meet at work. The Internet must be changing all that. I had thought the superficiality of friendships established on the Net was a bad thing, but this book club and listening to my hairdresser is beginning to challenge my prejudices!
I would imagine that Nujood's and her family's position in her own society is now very difficult. The picture drawn of Yemeni society does not suggest change will come any time soon.This was one reason I did not enjoy the book much. Currently in the U.K. Islamic parents are on trial for killing their daughter whose behaviour they believed had become too Westernised and negatively affected the family's honour. I recognise this is the result of a clash of cultures, but essentially that is what "I am Nujood, Age 10 and Divorced" is all about. Desperately sad.
I am happy to be an author, Nancy, but feel I am going to need lots of technological help to fulfil that role. Jay will no doubt find a way to do it, but you might find that the next book, which is my selection, has the posts sent to you by e-mail!
I would describe our current domestic situation as "camping" and do hope you are managing more successfully, Katie.
Thanks for the read, ladies. It certainly took my mind off the difficulties of moving and put them in perspective. My problems are nothing compared to Nujood's.
Sue,
ReplyDeleteI've done something !!! Did you receive an author invite ?
I also may need some techie help.
Hello Ladies! Hope you’re both well. The moving is going so slowly. I’m hoping to be in by September at the very latest.
ReplyDeleteNujood was a quick read. It was a very enlightening book. People can tell you that this sort of thing happens in the world, but until you listen to the story of someone who actually lived it, it doesn’t seem possible. It seems in Yemen, the honor of men is more important than the safety of women. I don’t understand how Nujood’s brothers could hear her suffering and not be outraged. Her father may have been too high on khat to care for his daughter’s well being but surely her brothers could see what was going on. These men talk about honor but what about the disrespect Nujood’s husband showed the Ali family by his mistreatment of Nujood? I would feel as if my family were being dishonored if a spouse mistreated one of my siblings. How can rape and physical assault be considered honorable? In Western society rapists are put in jail. Yemen society seems to reward rapists by marring them to their victim. Nujood’s sister, Mona, was raped and then they forced her to marry her attacker. Why does no one punish this man? Why is his honor more important than Mona’s? Apparently it’s better to marry a couple than to allow the other villages to know there is a rapist in your community. I guess honor in Yemen society means not showing a man’s true nature.
Unfortunately, I think, the only person w ho wins in this story is Nujood. Other little Yemen girls will probably still be forced to marry at young ages. "To guarantee a happy marriage, marry a nine year old girl." This is probably because a nine year old is still young enough to be molded and influenced by others. She can be, as was attempted with Nujood, beaten into submission or just conditioned by the husband or his family. I’m not sure what most “Westerners” look for in a happy marriage. But for me, I looked for a partner. Many Eastern cultures seem to want the husband to be the dominant partner. Personally, I wanted to find someone who was or would be my equal. Even if this is not the general agreement for happy Western marriages, it is acceptable here for the woman to be in charge.
I agree with you, Sue. I think Nujood has created much discord within her family and community. I think it maybe a long while before this community finds these beliefs to be archaic. Unfortunately changes is not easy. And being the one to bring about change is even harder.
Nancy, if you would like additional help with the posts, I’d be more than happy to help!
Hello Ladies,
ReplyDeleteWell, even though I haven't yet read our book it would seem I am desperate to be part of the conversation !!
Good to see your name with me on the authors list Sue, we both managed the tech stuff OK. I have to admit I all seems much easier when the Uni brats are home and helping out. It is glaringly obvious I had help with the Nujood post !!!!! ha ha.
I have sent the author invite to you this morning Katie.
So, even though I haven't read the book yet, I do have a happy marriage {most of the time} and that takes hard work from both of us. I agree Katie, we "Westerners" look for equality in our partners. As women sometimes it can be difficult to have an equal voice in anyone's society, so in my marriage I value that highly. Of course, sometimes these equal voices can get loud, hence comes the hard work. So, in cultures that demand obedience and submission from their women this is clearly not going to work for them.
Anyway, with luck I will be able to comment on the book in a few days, though lack of it hasn't seemed to stop me!!
Sue, I have spent time camping in homes at times, it can be quite enlightening what you can get by without, and then it just gets a little tiresome.
The domestic situation has been greatly improved by having landline and Internet access. But trying to remember where everything is, having stuff on two sites and, inevitably, losing critical items like keys can be extremely frustrating. There's much to be said for moving slowly, Katie.
ReplyDeleteI've clicked the contributor icon, Nancy, but it only wants me to talk about myself. It does seem to me I do enough of that already so I have ignored that invitation.
I agree with everything you've both had to say about Nujood's situation. The image of equal voices getting loud is a wonderful one: it encapsulates so much about Jay and myself. Productive tension, though, ladies, and that is surely what we want - even if it's a little exhausting at times.
I await instructions about the authoring thing, and if I don't achieve success in the next few days, I'll send an e-mail to you both with some comments - as yet to be created. But it is 1st August tomorrow - and perhaps 1st August already in Australia.
Hello Ladies,
ReplyDeleteWell better late than never !!
As you have both said I Am Nujood was a quick read [lucky for me} although I find myself a little lost when it comes to making comment.
I have read many reports detailing these sorts of crimes before and always am overwhelmed with the same feelings of outrage and guilt at my own apathy in helping these women and children.
I agree with you Katie, I believe the only person who wins is Nujood, although I too can't help but wonder what happens to her now. I'm sure the money raised from her book royalties will go along way to helping her family out of poverty but it won't change the beliefs of the men of her family, it won't repair their 'honour'. The traditions so ingrained in some societies seem unbeatable and unchangeable.
I feel what affected me most in the story was the way it was told in Nujood's voice and the simple and innocent wishes and hopes she had for herself, her innocent faith in the courthouse and judges to help her, it so easily could have all gone wrong. I remember my daughter age 10, and her absolute faith and trust in Ivars and I to care for her, it leaves me shaken to think of the betrayal that Nujood must have felt.
When I wrote the questions in the post obviously I had not read the book, now on reflection I feel the need to find a new phrase for "Western Ideals". These crimes against women happpen in all countries in the world and perhaps it was conceited of me and at the least thoughtless, to presume west was best.
There was an interesting question in the back of my book.
Were you surprised when one of Nujood's primary opressors turned out to be a woman? Nujood's mother-in-law is a strong personality who treats the young girl harshly and fails to come to her defence on her wedding night. How does this play, paradoxically, into the idea of Yemen as a highly patriarchal society? Do you see similarity, for example, between the mother-in-law's behaviour and the fact that in some African societies, it is the women who enforce the practice of female circumcision?
I read the book in two days, perhaps that is why I found the whole experience so unsettling. The powerlessness of children upsets me the most, even though there was victory for Nujood, and she is an amazingly strong girl, so many others continue to hurt in the name of tradition or religion or criminals.
I'm glad you were able to get a copy of the book and finish it quickly Nancy. In thinking about the question at the back of your book, it's hard to believe that the only person who suggested divorce to Nujood was her father's second wife, Dowla. Dowla was barely a presence in Nujood's world until she helps her. She even disappears back into anonymity once Nujood gets to the court system. Neither her mother nor her sister Mona, made any suggestion of divorce. These two women, who are major characters in a 10 year old's world, offer no help. Nujood's own mother did not even protest in anyway when her daughter was married off. Sometimes lack of action is worse than cruel action.
ReplyDelete